Sunday, March 28, 2010

HOW MUCH IS THAT BAND-AID IN THE WINDOW?



HOW MUCH IS THAT BAND-AID IN THE WINDOW?

FELLOW VILLAGERS:


Today I hitched a ride to town to get my hair cut and buy some band-aids. Since I have been a-foot of late, I've got myself a couple of blisters. Long story, another time.

Thankfully, with a little salve and band-aids these little abrasions will heal rapidly.

The bigger blisters require bandages and salve not readily available. And they reside, most uncomfortably, not on my body, but on my mind, a collective mind, from the chaffing and rubbing that has occurred in our Nation. I guess we could try to stitch the wounds up, but I suspect it require surgical staples instead.

N-Kay. So here we are. I still at least still have the "FREEDOM" to choose from the variety of band-aids. The salve is, of course, optional. At least, so far. Am I soon to be required to purchase salve in addition to my band-aids? Oh, and should I happen to pass some uncertain, unfortunate, hapless stranger with a paper cut on his/her finger on my way out, am I required by law to freely distribute and share my band-aids? And what about the salve? The salve might be considered a luxury, probably falls into the category of Specialist Medical Treatment, preserved only for the affluent. The good folks at Neo-Sporin must be bitin' their nails!

Just what in Jimmeny Crickets is going on!? Well, that's really a rhetorical question.  The Right Reverend Al Sharpton and the unfortunately afflicted with perennial FOOT-IN-MOUTH DISEASE..(is that covered or pre-existing?) VP Joe Biden both answered that question for us. And poor Nancy Pelosi, will we have to pay for her inevitable Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from waving and wielding that lumber jack gavel in her moment of fame. Is Tunnel Vision covered?

Speaking of insurance coverage; is anybody taking out a life insurance policy on the Constitution Its on a respirator and somebody's got their foot on the hose. If you take a quiet moment you can hear its final gasps for breath and life. The skeleton staff at the guv-ment run hospital are scrambling and responding to "CODE BLUE". But before they can break out the defibrillator paddles and gun 'em up, they have to stop and wait for Guvmint approval. Meanwhile the patient lies dying from lack of oxygen and cardiac arrest.

Of course this is a metaphor. But what if it were you, your wife, husband, father, mother child? Perhaps your toddler made its way mistakenly into the swimmin' pool at your apartment complex, not breathing and turning blue, will you have to wait for some foot soldier to answer the "Bat Phone" to give the go ahead to instigate life saving measures? Or might that just be too costly, best to send in the END OF LIFE COUNSELORS; THE CZARS OF EVERGREEN..And at that point, hypothetically, does this EOL Task Force counsel the dead one or are the surviving family members just collateral damage? Oooh!~ An opportunity: The Czar of After-Life Counseling. Chief Czar of Post Mortem...Now accepting applications. Commission based salary, no benefits.

Make no mistake...I am not without compassion for those cannot afford insurance. However, as the old saying goes:" You give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day,TEACH a man to fish and he can eat forever"....(well, that is, unless if we let those little minnows suffer) And, of course, let us not overlook those amongus who'd 'just a-ssune'  NOT carry insurance, stay beneath the radar and avail themselves to the rensentful
charity of Mercy Hospital ER.

My guess is we're headin' for lock-step, lock-up or Loch Ness Monster. Buckle -up friends, the ride's gonna get bumpier, as in the words of our wise law enforment officials "Click it or Ticket". Drive safely and be careful in them waters! And remember, a small blister can be a painful thorn in a mighty lion's paw.



And what about those pesky Polar Bears? Not only are their glacier pods melting, they're grabbin' up all the salmon!! And the Penguins are now morphing as well! They've shed their normal tuxedo attire and now are sporting all black feathers. True story. They look rather funerial. Talk about lock-step!


Everything's gonna be okay.


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