AS THE CROW FLIES

As a child, I can remember being afraid of certain things, mostly imaginary and did not actually reside beneath the bed or lurk within the closet.

As I aged, ungracefully I might add, I found a new fear. CROWS-FEET! Those little lines around the eyes that tell the tale of not only your years but your experience. Some call them wisdom lines, others call them laugh lines...well-earned.

Thankfully, we, in our MOST LOVELY VILLAGE Respecting Chickens, have an annual opportunity to celebrate and enjoy THE SCARECROW FESTIVAL!

How happy to see the Scarecrows stuffed and propped along Main Street in anticipation and welcome for visitors; Vendors hawking their wares and goods, folks milling about, enjoying the advent of Autumn.

However, amongst our celebration and joy of our ScareCrow Festival...Might we remember that the ScareCrow is intended to 'SHOOOO' the black crows that seek to pillage the seeds gracious farmers have sown for another year's harvest. Thus, the necessity of the SCARECROW. The Scarecrow's job was to ward off the invasion of crops by black birds. Adorned in old and colorful clothing, stuffed with hay, propped and poised to stand vigilant against these errant fowls. Our dear departed friend, Alfred Hitchcock, can remind us all of "birds pissed off".

One must wonder, how our latest "Regulatory" Czar with a faux fur Disneyesque animal rights agenda will reconcile this issue while advocating all animals must have the right to an attorney and representation in cases of alleged abuse and horrifically, the opportunity to defend and defy euthanasia. Without opposable thumbs, how will these blessed creatures be able to invoke their right to one phone call? For that matter, lacking the funds to travel to court they even lack the requisite limb to hitchhike their way to the halls of justice. Only to be tarred and feathered.

And if required to testify, will these poor creatures be tied to an interpretor that might just collapse claiming ,"I can't take it (fake it) anymore!" What will we do if we need to provide 'End of Life' Counseling in Barkology or Meowism? Further, will the sufferers of a "simian cleft" be denied treatment for reasons of genus or species?

Finally, there remains the question whether a Village Respecting Chickens can coexist with scardy crows or will there only be room for one rooster in the new regulatory regime? Just exactly who is the cock of the walk?

Make no mistake, I love the SCARECROW FESTIVAL!!! And
I intend to be there with bells on! Come along and enjoy! These wonderful Fall days are fleeting and we need to notice its visitation. See Ya There!


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